The absurd justification for hiring your son—and some deranged LSU emails

Welcome to the second edition of FOIAball. If you enjoy it, please forward it to a friend. We’d love your help in helping us grow.

If you have something for us to look into, reach out to [email protected]

In this issue, we’re revealing:

• The absurd claims used to circumvent nepotism laws

• Texas Tech’s extremely suss memos about hiring Joey McGuire’s son

• Clemson and WVU dodging the matter entirely

• The LSU fans who tried to get Brian Kelly fired at halftime

• And eggplant parm like you’ve never had before

The 2022 Carolina Panthers juggernaut, or things you say in a memo no one is supposed to see

Think back to the Carolina Panthers under Matt Rhule. You probably haven’t in a while, given it’s quite gross.

In 2021, Rhule’s Panthers played three games where they didn’t score a touchdown. In one loss, their leading passer and rusher combined for 127 yards.

A year later, even after Rhule got sacked, things grew bleaker. One week, the team’s top rusher ran for 10 yards. In five others, its lead back never broke 35. Against the Saints, they completed five passes for 32 yards. 

Presented with those figures, and not under any hostage-like duress, would you declare them to be one of a “small group of NFL teams excelling in both passing and rushing?”

Tortured language aside, no. You wouldn’t.

But Texas Tech Athletics Director Kirby Hocutt wrote that in a memo to the university’s president this offseason. He wanted to waive the school’s typical listing period for a job opening because its football program already identified an “ideal candidate.”

After all, if you can get a bottom-tier former NFL assistant whose “high level understanding of offensive schemes” contributed to the 30th and 29th-ranked NFL offense, you’d be silly to do any further due diligence. 

Especially if that candidate is your head coach’s son. 

Coaches hiring their kids has long been part of the college football world, despite it really not being terribly legal. 

Every public school follows state laws regarding nepotism. They’re designed to ensure open positions are staffed with quality candidates and not familial cronies. 

But sons abound. Just this year, Bill Belichick brought his boys to UNC and Rich Rodriguez sired two members of his staff. 

Elsewhere, Dabo Swinney, Greg Schiano, Pete Lembo, Brian Kelly, and Mike Gundy all have offspring under them.

As does Texas Tech’s Joey McGuire, whose son Garret now works for him. 

Well, technically, for his offensive coordinator.

The elder McGuire got his collegiate coaching start under Rhule, joining him in 2017 at Baylor. It was a package deal. Garret, at the time a high school backup, got a spot on the Bears. The younger McGuire barely saw the field while in Waco, earning six total yards on two rushes.

Joey stayed on staff when Rhule left for the Panthers. But Garret, after graduation, got a job in Carolina. 

He started in 2021 as a coaching assistant, earning a promotion to offensive assistant in 2022, the year Rhule got fired. 

Rhule rebounded in Nebraska and rehired Garret to run his wide receivers, making him the youngest position coach at a Power 5 school at age 23. 

Garret stayed with the Cornhuskers for two years until Dana Holgerson came on board in November 2024.

This December, McGuire (dad) brought McGuire (son) to Lubbock. 

As a state institution, the school didn’t only need to justify skipping the proper hiring process. 

It also needed to submit an “Application for Waiver of Nepotism,” which included a “Justification for Nepotism” memo, both of which were obtained by FOIAball, to explain why Garret was uniquely qualified for the role and absolutely not brought on board because of his father. 

While we’re all for inflating our resumes, especially in this economy, our claims can’t be cross-referenced against a database of every football game ever. 

The unsigned memo kicks off with Garret’s NFL bona fides, where it says he “contributed to a balanced offensive strategy and demonstrated adaptability amidst quarterback change.”

If anything, that understates it. During his two years in Carolina, the Panthers’ quarterback room was nothing short of haunted, populated by late-stage Cam Newton, pre-renaissance Sam Darnold, pre-renaissance Baker Mayfield, P.J. Walker, and a brief appearance by Jacob Eason.

But the balanced offensive strategy boast is suspect. In a press release, Texas Tech said the 2022 Panthers “were one of only eight NFL teams to have more than 3,200 passing yards and 2,220 rushing yards in 2022.”

Stats can be framed any way you want, even more so when you use the wrong numbers. The passing figures cited for the Panthers are from 2021. They threw for 2,996 yards in 2022. 

Using the proper totals, a different offense appears. Only three teams passed for fewer yards than the 2022 Carolina Panthers. And of the five worst passing teams in the league, just one team rushed for fewer yards on the ground.

The 2022 Panthers could best be described as schizophrenic. A 21-yard rushing game was followed by a 320-yard performance, before falling back to 74 the next week.

But Garret was a cog in a rusted-out Rhule regime at that point, new to his career. What about when he became an actual position coach? 

The waiver states that “as Nebraska’s wide receivers coach, he excelled in developing underclassmen and … his work resulted in true freshmen contributing significantly, including standout performances by multiple players.”

The AD’s memo went into greater specificity, touting Garrett’s rapid success, saying in his first season, “multiple freshmen became top performers, demonstrating McGuire's skill in quickly implementing players into an offensive system.”

That year, Nebraska’s top true freshman receiver, Malachi Coleman, had eight catches over 11 games. Another, Jaylen Lloyd, had six in 10 games, though three went for touchdowns over 50 yards. A third, Jaiydn Doss, finished with two catches over four games. That’s almost identical to Nebraska’s starting quarterback, Heinrich Haarberg, who himself had two catches for 12 yards. 

Sure, there were injuries. But if FOIAball were in the justification business, we’d stay entirely away from Nebraska’s passing offense that year. They averaged 136 yards a game, ranking just ahead of… well, look at the graphic.

In 2024, both memos cite Jacory Barney Jr. setting a school record for catches by a true freshman, with 55 for 447 yards. Nice, yes, but maybe don’t look at those numbers compared to another true freshman that year at Ohio State. 

If you want to talk growth and consistency, one year after posting a two-catch, 12-yard season, Haarberg, still there as a backup QB, had two catches for 16 yards. 

But coaching is just part of it. The waiver spoke highly of McGuire’s ability to recruit Texas, given his roots. 

“Garret’s recruiting ability is one of his most valuable traits. He has deep knowledge of Texas and its high school landscape,” it reads.

In his first year, Nebraska brought on three freshman pass catchers from the state of Texas. All three switched to defense.

Rhule even had to address concerns in a press conference over McGuire’s recruiting ability. 

“I think unfairly, well, I don't know if it's unfairly, but he's had a lot of people question, you know, him, which really honestly hurts us in recruiting," Rhule said. “We have to battle that a little bit.”

Look, we don’t doubt Garret can coach or that he’s dealt admirably with very difficult situations (maybe don’t follow Matt Rhule everywhere). We just doubt the waiver’s conclusion.

“While Garret is the son of Joey McGuire, his hiring is based on merit and qualifications rather than familial ties … it is a strategic decision that will significantly benefit our program.” 

It certainly seems the school wasn’t worried about the scrutiny. All nepotism exceptions are supposed to be approved by the school’s Board of Regents. But the chairman personally okayed the hire, claiming “exigent circumstances” to bypass a review by the full board.

The chairman cited a bylaw in the Regents’ Rules that allows nepotism hires if they are not supervised by a family member. And Garret does report to offensive coordinator Mack Leftwich.

FOIAball is more interested in the rule directly below, which states, “No employee may approve, recommend, or otherwise take action with regard to the appointment … of an individual related to the employee.”

Presumably, when Joey McGuire told reporters he was trying to hire his son, saying, “I’m hoping so, because it will definitely help us,” he was just ambiently speculating.

Just to be safe, FOIABall spoke with an attorney with over 30 years of experience handling employment and labor matters, including those dealing with nepotism. 

They said exemptions for nepotism are rare, only given when people in charge want them.

“They are not granted very often, usually only happening when there is a powerful influence supporting the nepotism,” they said. “And because of the powerful influence, the nepotism hires are pushed through easily, because no one scrutinizes the powerful.”

As for the credentials and supervision cited in the waivers for McGuire, the documents were characterized as cover to get around legal concerns. 

“It certainly doesn’t pass the smell test. It’s impossible to believe the [father] would have no influence over whether his son would be hired or supervised like non-nepotism hires. I don’t think anyone would buy that.”

Maybe Texas Tech was on to something. In the season opener this week, the Red Raiders rolled Arkansas Pine Bluff, putting up 296 yards on the ground. 

Looking at other teams in the Big 12 this offseason, though, it’s hard to describe Garret as the most qualified candidate out there.

At Colorado, Deion Sanders hired Marshall Faulk as his running back coach. Playing a real opponent, the Buffaloes ran for 146 yards in a loss. Rich Rodriguez’s new running backs coach, Larry Porter, worked at UNC, Auburn, Texas, Arizona State, LSU, Oklahoma State, and was head coach at Memphis for a stint. 

The Mountaineers dropped 393 yards rushing in their opener. 

With that kind of ground game, West Virginia didn’t need to throw much. They were still successful through the air, starter Nicco Marchiol completing 17-20 passes.

That’s the kind of aerial attack WVU is probably happy about. We can’t be certain. Deputy Athletics Director and Chief Development Officer Ben Murray did not speak after the win, despite overseeing the quarterback coach instrumental in the passing game, Rich Rodriguez’s son, Rhett.

Why Rodriguez isn’t supervised directly by his father is a mystery, as WVU told FOIAball that they have "no documents" surrounding disclosures of family ties by either Rich or Rhett, despite the school’s policy requiring disclosures regarding nepotism. 

According to a contract for Rhett obtained by FOIAball, he will be let go if his dad gets fired, despite not working under him at all. Odd.

Rodriguez even doubled up, bringing his daughter, Raquel, onto his staff.

Meanwhile, Drew Swinney’s original contract with Clemson states he "will report to Kevin White, Deputy Director of Athletics Administration," whose primary task is overseeing capital projects. 

When asked for additional documents relating to the hiring, Clemson’s records department told FOIAball that those were “information of a personal nature” and pointed us to the school’s Ethics Policy, which notes officials cannot cause the “employment” or “advancement” of a family member.

Drew was promoted to assistant wide receivers coach this year, at, we must assume, the strident urging of White.

Said an attorney about the reporting structures, “It's like saying I work as a cop, but claiming the chief of police isn't my boss, instead the mayor is. The mayor clearly would not truly supervise my daily police work or would not assign work schedules. The chief handles these supervisory functions. The idea that a cop would report directly to the mayor is ridiculous. It's a false narrative intended to eliminate concerns.”

But at least one school is not violating state nepotism laws: LSU. 

Brian Kelly brought on his son, Patrick, who works as a football support and operations assistant.

While LSU’s records department told FOIAball Kelly has never reported directly to Kelly, hiring him wouldn’t be illegal. That’s because, as Ed Orgeron’s (extremely large, we assume) sons left college, Louisiana passed an addendum to its law banning nepotism. 

The legislature declared that nepotism does not apply to an “immediate family member of a coach of an athletic program at a public higher education institution.” It also said concerns over nepotism should, in no way, affect “normal promotional advancements for an immediate family member.”

House Bill 81 became law on June 4, 2020. Orgeron’s son Parker joined LSU in September. And would you believe it? He later got promoted.

LSU fans spiraled at halftime against Clemson

Even if Patrick Kelly’s hiring were nefarious, FOIAball couldn’t imagine anyone in the state of Louisiana cares this week. 

The Tigers beat Clemson in Death Valley (real, fake, who cares), a win Brian Kelly sorely needed.

Kelly lost his first three openers at LSU, and a fourth might have been unforgivable. It’s safe to say fans were ready to pull the trigger, especially at the end of the second quarter. 

Records obtained by FOIAball for Athletic Director Scott Woodward’s inbox during the game show Tigers Nation spent halftime telling him it was time. 

The emails came after Kelly, down seven with 15 seconds left, opted to go for it on fourth and two from the Clemson 12.

Not only did the play fall short, LSU fumbled the ball, a loss of dignity on top of a turnover on downs. 

While you wouldn’t cope with that failure by searching for the email of your alma mater’s AD and penning a furious missive, you are not built like LSU fans.

Under the extremely businesslike subject line “Concern Regarding Coaching Decision in LSU vs Clemson Game,” a “deeply invested LU supporter” declared the hiring failed. 

“I am … struggling to understand the decision-making displayed by Head Coach Brian Kelly in tonight’s game against Clemson.”

“This is not an isolated lapse. Coach Kelly has now lost three consecutive Week One games, and this particular sequence reflects not only questionable judgment, but a level of situational mismanagement that would draw criticism from any seasoned head coach … The decision defies both football fundamentals and sound game management ... I believe this type of recurring incompetence cannot be overlooked. In my view, it raises serious concerns about whether Brian Kelly is the right leader to guide LSU football forward.”

“I respectfully urge you to evaluate this situation with the seriousness it deserves.”

Another email, with the more succinct subject line, “Terrible call,” fumed harder.

“I don’t get paid millions of dollars to know that you kick the field goal at that point of the game. Go into halftime 10-6 and make necessary adjustments. Hopefully we can overcome that coaching decision.”

The Tigers did overcome, but according to the records we got, neither fan took time after the game to write back.

Eggplant parm… like you’ve never had before

We promise not every entry in this section will be some way to use tomatoes in a fashion that marries summer and fall, but we are, as you might be able to tell, smack dab in the middle of that season. 

And a totally winged idea left FOIAball satiated beyond belief: A way to make eggplant parm that is unlike anything else.

Slice some (three or so) eggplants into inch-ish thick rounds. Taking a cue from the stellar YouTube channel Italia Squista, I peeled half the skin, which tempers the bitterness, still keeps a little punch, and is a lot easier than trying to peel the whole thing.

Toss those in a bowl with salt and flour. Don’t worry about getting each one perfectly coated. It’ll be fine.

Heat up a lot of oil until it's hot enough. If you are looking for degrees, we don’t do that here. Toss in a slice. Is it cooking? If not, crank it up.

As for what oil, you are going to need a lot. Like a half inch. The key to delicious eggplant is a ton of fat. Sautéing in a thin layer of extra-virgin olive oil over some concern about upcoming blood work is a recipe for dry, spongy, inedible discs. 

So use a lot of something cheap. Probably seed-based. You’ll live! At least through tomorrow. 

Flip the slices when they start to look withered and wrinkly at the edges. Let the other side go just as long. Don’t pull them out until they practically disintegrate when you press them with tongs. Use a slotted spoon instead and dry on a paper towel. Sprinkle of salt, of course, while hot.

Cut a fresh tomato into half-inch thick slices and slap those down on a ripping hot pan (I used a cast iron flat top, with no oil), to caramelize one side. That will ramp up the umami, giving a slow-cooked sauce feel, while still keeping the flesh fresh. Let them go longer than you think. If you think they are done, turn off the pan and let them keep cooking. You want to get them nearly, but not quite, blackened. 

Put the finished, fried eggplant on a baking sheet, top with the seared tomatoes, and tear strips of mozzarella over it. We used fresh because we had it, but Polly rules.

Throw under a broiler for five to melt. 

Take some more tomatoes (you’ll need more) and finely dice them. Salt those heavily to let all the juice seep out. This is best done on a plastic cutting board with a lip to catch everything. If you don’t have one, throw them in a bowl before salting. 

When the parm is done, pour the tomatoes and juice all over. Garnish with basil and flaky salt. Maybe a squeeze of lemon, even. 

It’ll be everything you want. Creamy, meaty, cheesy, salty, even a little saucy from the juice, and yet, completely refreshing.

Something no one has said about a parm ever. 

Shout out to Ami on Bluesky, who is our first reader to share his experience with FOIAball food! If you make something of ours, give us a tag! We’d love to see it. 

Like we said at the top, if you enjoyed this, please share. It’s the best way for us to grow.

If you have any other thoughts, reach us at [email protected]. See you next week.

Joey and Garret McGuire images via YouTube/Texas Tech Red Raiders

LSU mascot via SportsLogos.net